Introducing...

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17TH

Our 20 week ultrasound on Wednesday did not go as expected. We sat down with our favorite ultrasound tech & as soon as she started the measurements on baby’s head, she quickly told us something was not looking okay. She immediately went and got my doctor who came in and watch as the tech did several more scans and confirmed that baby had something very wrong with the development of the brain. While most of the other measurements of the baby looked good, the brain does not look like it is developing as it should.

As we were wrapping up the ultrasound, the tech, who was crying with us, gave us something of the most encouraging words. She told us that God has a plan for us, we are amazing parents and she would be lifting us up in prayer as we moved forward through this hard time. She walked us to our private room to wait to meet with my doctor and told us how just that morning she had been reading in her devotional that God often puts us in people’s life for a reason. I 100% assured her she was in the right place at the right time.

We met with my OB who let us know that we were going to be going to the U of M for a Level 2 ultrasound as well as to meet with a specialist who would take a closer look at baby. We did talk to our doctor and she was very honest with us and let us know that most of the time the outcome does not look good. 

I was amazed at how each people that we came in contact with at my OB office was so full of compassion and empathy. The tech, nurse and doctor all were people before their professions. Each one of them hugged us, told us they supported us no matter what decisions we had to make and would be here to care for us.

We headed home to tell the heartbreaking news to the kids with very limited information. The 2 older kids listened intently as we explain that the baby did not have some of the important pieces of the brain and there was a very strong possibility that the baby wouldn’t be born alive. The news is a lot for kids to take in and we just left it at that: either the baby would come home with us or go and be with Jesus right away.

THURSDAY, MARCH 18TH

The following day, I had a few girlfriends come and just hangout with me, bringing me my favorites: coffee & gummy candy. We knew the call from the specialist could come anytime but had no idea when. Thankfully, mid-Thursday morning, I did receive a call to schedule our meeting with the specialist the next day (Friday) so that we did not have to wait much longer to learn some more answers.

FRIDAY, MARCH 19TH

We had our follow up appointment for baby and It went about as we expected as we had prepared ourselves for the very worst case scenario. Thankfully, we got a lot more answers. A lot of them were very hard to hear. We learned that baby has something called “alobor holoprosencephaly” (HPE) where there is an absence of a lot of the brain structure. We also learned that baby has a large cleft extending up between the eyes, meaning there is no nose structure evident and the eyes are also very close together and bulging. Baby is measuring quite small in a number of ways which can be attributed to the lack of brain structure. All of these generally point to a chromosomal problem which we will eventually learn more about through testing at some point. 

We also learned that a lot of babies do not survive in utero and this could result in miscarriage or baby will be stillborn. If the baby lives through delivery, there is a 50% of death before 5 months old and 80% chance before a year. We have already made the decision that I will carry the baby as long as it is alive as it is only the way this sweet little one gets to be alive & have life. 

We have another ultrasound schedule for 3 weeks out where we will check on baby’s grow and also have an opportunity to meet with the genetic counselors about testing options which will enable us to hopefully get a better picture of the best way to care for baby.

Moving forward, we’d ask you to join us in prayer as we need to decide what aftercare, interventions and testing we will pursue to be able to provide our baby with the most life as possible. We also ask that you join us in praying for our kids as this is going to be an exceptionally difficult season for them processing the death of a loved one that they may never get to really know. We are so thankful for our community and are so glad to have an amazing support system around us!

We do have one sweet little piece of news that it is a baby girl, Molly Mae. We are so in love.